Twenty years ago, life as I knew it forever changed when my husband underwent emergency brain surgery for a Glioblastoma Multiforme Stage IV brain tumor. This unexpected turn of events threw our family into a journey marked by profound challenges, intense emotions, and uncharted territory.

Over these two decades, I have learned invaluable lessons about resilience, love, and the power of faith, family, and friends. These years have been filled with countless highs and lows, moments of hope and despair, and ultimately, almost eight years from his surgery, a deep sorrow following my husband’s death.

Perhaps you have suffered a similar loss and wonder what the next step should be. Or maybe you have felt hopeless in your situation. I have listed some key insights you may find helpful in your grief walk.

Embrace Each Day: Staring a ‘death sentence’ in the face and determining that every day is extraordinary helps you see the miracles surrounding you. You learn to embrace each moment with gusto. This lesson has only deepened with time as I continue to navigate life without him by my side. Grief has become a constant companion, one that reminds me daily of the fragility of life and the importance of cherishing each second.

Strength in Vulnerability: Sharing my story and struggles with others has been healing and empowering. In the early days, I learned that when circumstances are out of control (believe me, a brain cancer diagnosis leaves you feeling helpless), there is One Who is in control: God. Throughout the years of caregiving and following my husband’s death, I realized even more profoundly what Elisabeth Elliot meant when she said, “Fear arises when we imagine everything depends on us.” I was carrying the weight of the world, and I needed to set it down and breathe. Vulnerability has allowed me to connect with others on a deeper level, finding comfort in shared experiences and the knowledge that I am not alone in my grief.

Faith as My Guiding Light: My faith has been a cornerstone in navigating waves of grief and uncertainty. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV), “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight,” has been my anchor. The promise of Psalm 23:4 (KJV), “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou are with me,” has been a constant source of comfort. These verses have carried me through the darkest days and remind me that even in the shadow of death, I am never truly alone.

Finding Purpose in Pain: Transforming my pain into purpose has become a driving force in my life. Through writing, speaking, and sharing my experiences, I aim to offer solace and encouragement to others facing similar battles. My husband’s death has taught me that while pain may be inevitable, it can also be transformative. By channeling my grief into something meaningful, I have found a sense of purpose that continues to guide me forward.

Reflecting on these last twenty years, I am grateful for the resilience that has carried me through and the knowledge that I am not alone. God has not promised a path void of sorrow; He has promised His love, care, and peace will always be with us from now into eternity.

Some days are harder than others, but in Christ, I have found a constant companion who walks with me even when the journey is rough. So, when your heart is heavy with despair and grief, remember you are not alone; there is safety and rest in the hands of God.

Perhaps sharing my story will encourage you as you face life’s challenges. Or if you know someone who is struggling, pass along my Joy Journal for a Grieving Heart to them.